Tuesday, June 12, 2012

The Kind of Conclusion

Well, I hope you've all enjoyed reading our story! Without any further ado, here is the epic conclusion...
Parto Tres
(Parto Uno here)
(Parto Dos here)


When Jackie came back from New Mexico she wanted to start work on the first of June. Three months before I would start school! I was really torn between having a life with my close friends and being around some girl who wasn’t sure she wanted a boyfriend. Though the more I talked with her the more I liked her. Eventually we started calling each other in the evenings and well I decided to man up and move then. I drove myself to Medford and met up with Jackie. We went to a park for lunch and sat in the grass to cuddle. As we talked I figured I should see if she liked me. I was terrified of asking her, I didn’t want to ruin the four day trip that we had ahead due to awkwardness. Then I am not 100% sure of everything that occurred but the end result was that she allowed me to kiss her. AWESOME! Pretty much.. Then we went home to see her mother and play games. Kind of weird to be honest, I really didn’t know how to act or what to say. I was that guy from some far off place that wasn’t the perfect guy for her daughter and I felt judged. Kind of a lot. 

The next day we went bowling with her brother and her mom, then afterwards she took me to see Hamlet and I took her to dinner. We rented a car dolly the day following and set out on our journey to Tucson. IT WAS THE MOST AMAZING TIME EVER!!! She was happy, I was happy, we were happy and we enjoyed eachothers company. We talked the whole time. We played games, asked each other questions asked what eachother was thinking the whole time. We held hands the whole way. It was amazing. I loved talking with him and getting to know him better. It was so nice being able to talk to someone and have someone understand who I was, not just what other people perceive me as. And despite all of my faults he still really liked me. Wow. Not to mention we got to park next to the big semi trucks at all the rest areas!!!
At one point while driving through Nevada to get to her Grandparents place we stopped at an exit to check the car dolly and what not. Well we decided to kiss a bit and we hear a honk, and then a truck pulls over to tell us to move because they had a semi-truck loaded with stuff and we were parked in the way (on the side of the road mind you) They asked if we were just married and I kinda laughed and said not yet as Jackie ran back into the car kinda embarrassed that she got caught. As we re-entered the highway we noticed the exit’s name, Love Lock… haha. I remember that shortly thereafter for my turn during our question-asking game I asked him what he thought when the people in the truck made their comment and he was bold enough to say, “I wish!” This kind of scared me a little bit because shoot, I didn’t want to think about getting married after how long of liking him? I wasn’t even sure I wanted to commit enough to be his girlfriend…. But this did start me thinking about things a little bit more.

We drove through Utah and late one night as we are headed to her grandparents she told me that she didn’t want to continue our relationship once she was in New Mexico. Um… Yeah…. Ouch… I was dumbfounded and became silent for the rest of the night thinking of what was going on. I remember wanting to believe that it was best for both of us, but then Will made the comment that no, it was just what I wanted… I didn’t want to give up my old life, my old way of doing things that has made me happy (so I thought) up to this point. This made me feel really selfish, and I hated the silence between us. It made me sad. I just gave up my life as I knew it to be with this girl and she just told me she didn’t want to be with me. I tried as hard as I could to overcome my emotional turmoil. Once we stopped for the night I went to my designated sleeping area and prayed. Not that she would love me, but that I would be able to overcome the emotion I felt and do what is right. I was swept away with peace in my heart knowing that if that is what she wanted that was fine, life will go on, and I at least wanted to be friends. We talked some in the morning and she apologized. I don’t think I apologized, but I did say that I realized that I didn’t want to lose him. He became such a good friend, and I loved being with him so much that I didn’t want to let him go. She still liked me (I wanted to cheer) and was overjoyed and we went to go visit her AMAZING aunt. Jackies twin separated at birth. That was a lot of fun. =)

We made it to Tucson, went to church together, enjoyed each others company, talked lots about life, about the future. And we went our separate ways, well, she drove to Albuquerque and I stayed in Tucson.  Each day we talked for hours. I eventually flew to see her and had a wonderful time. And by then I knew she was the love of my life. I made arrangements to get a ring and I was thinking of a good time to propose.
Funny thing how things never go the way you plan. I talked to my siblings during the day while Jackie was at work. And made mention to one of my brothers that I was thinking about getting married. My father and I discussed what ring I would get her and he sent me a picture of the one we discussed. On Friday I took her out to dinner and we walked around the park. At one point my mother called, I answered and she asked in an excited voice, loud over the phone, did you propose!! Hahaha Jackie heard, and well the discussion unfolded way earlier than I wanted it to. I wasn’t sure yet if I wanted to, but if the feeling came I wanted to be ready. It was way too early for even me, and way way way too early for her. She was terrified that I had ring for her, I can’t imagine what would have happened if I had proposed that night. Yeah. SUPER SCARED. HOLY COW. I couldn’t believe that he knew he liked, or loved, me enough to want to propose and get married. I never thought that I would experience this, because you always kind of anticipate it but I didn’t expect it to happen so fast.

Though things went well, I cooked every night for her, I cleaned house, I helped her in every way I could. We went to church activities, I met her friends and it was just a great time. She is an amazing girl. When I got back to Tucson I made plans to actually propose, I got the ring sent to me. I found a place where there was actual grass (Tucson doesn’t have much) since we both really like green stuff. She was going to fly in for the fourth of July and I was super super excited. Our conversations about the future were fun, we always would end a sentence “if I propose and if you say yes” and it really just built my excitement up. I couldn’t wait. Me too. I pretty much knew that he was going to propose, and it was really exciting. And scared out of my mind. More the second thing than the first thing. But I knew that since we had gotten to know each other really well we needed the relationship to progress in some form, and it made sense to do it this way.

The night she arrived in Tucson her plane was late. The area I wanted to go to had closed the gates preventing us from entering. It was way warmer than I had planned, 104 degrees at ten thirty at night. But I couldn’t wait I really wanted to get it out of my system, I was so excited. I joked around about putting the ring in a Cracker Jack Box and she assured me I wouldn’t do it. So ofcourse I bought her some cracker jacks. When I got to the airport my heart was thumping like no other. I was so happy to see him! Every time I saw him after a while of being apart it really made me happy. He was wearing the nice grey shirt he bought with me and his hair was really short. But he still looked really good. I was scared, nervous and had to improvise my plan. Why can’t things work out the way you want them to. Grrrrrr anyways I had bought a rose for her and when she approached my car I handed her the rose and hugged her ever so tightly. We drove off and I handed her the box cracker jacks, she looked at me kinda funny, but shes kinda too smart sometimes and takes the fun out of it, she noticed it was still sealed and thus ate them like nothing was going to happen. Hehehehe I am not going to turn down a box of Cracker Jacks. The child inside me still loves them =).

As we approached my grandparents home I decided to take a detour. Rollercoaster road starts on a hill and overlooks the city of Tucson. It has a fun name since our relationship emotionally has been quite the rollercoaster and it was a such a pretty view. I couldn’t wait to give her the ring. I loved her, and wanted her to know how much. So I stop at the top of the hill and jumped out, having the ring inside my pocket. We looked at the city and then quickly realized how ridiculously hot it was outside so we jumped into the back seat of my car while it was still cool. I gave her a kiss and as she leaned over accidently hit my lip and it split on one of my teeth. AWKWARD. But as you all can tell from this story I AM PERSISTENT and therefore did not give up my quest. I asked her if she had any questions for me, and after saying no I told her I had one for her. I looked into her eyes. And said “Jackie Nielson” I took her hand and pulled off her CTR ring which she had been wearing there. “Will you” I slipped the ring on her finger “Marry me”… I am not sure what I was hoping for. She looked at me, and before I could think another thought, pulled me close and kissed me. I was SCARED!!! AAAHHHH I knew I loved Will and I wanted to say yes but it was really scary!!! He was really sweet about it though. I felt kinda bad about making him wait like that. Eternity passed, my heart was beating ever so quickly, I was terrified that she might say no, it was so  hard to read her body language, it was getting uncomfortably warm, my life passed before me, and then she said “Yes”. In the words of my friend Dan “RYUTEN!!!” 

Life was great all weekend. And then we had to part, we lived in separate states and I needed a little time to collect some money to move to be closer to her. I decided to hault my dream of going to school for a term and start in New Mexico. That two weeks was rough. We had called everyone we knew that we were getting married, we made FB post about it. We set our status to engaged and then doubt seeped in. Not so much on my part but on hers. It was the scariest moment in my life. And mine. I thought I had done all of this for naught. Each evening we talked she was more and more nervous, we decided that we would call off the original date and just think about it some. It was too fast for her, I guess, but it seemed like forever for me. This was really hard for me. I felt Satan work on me like never before, and there were times when I just wanted to give up. I didn’t know what to think or what to do or what to tell Will. I asked him if he was going to move to New Mexico no matter what and he said yes. So I decided to not do anything too drastic before I could see him again.

Then I moved to New Mexico to be closer to her. We had discussed that I would arrive Monday and well me being super excited I couldn’t wait. So I devised a plan, I called her to let her know that a valuable object was to be delivered to her home. That if it was stolen we would be sorrowful so she needed to come home early if possible to take it inside. I didn’t tell her what I was. I had a copy of her apartment key with me and I set out to arrive at her place on Friday. I bought a rose and some flowers. I arrived about an hour or so before she did, I placed the vase of flowers on her door step. Parked my car on the far side of the complex, and went inside to wait. It took forever, for her to come home, I heard the key turn the lock and I stoop up, rose in hand and waited at the doorway to her bedroom. She had the vase in her hand and without noticing me placed it on the counter and continued to take off her shoes. She looked up and it was the most amazing look I have ever seen on a person. Such surprise and happiness and well It was FABULOUS!!! It felt SO GOOD to see him! Oh my goodness. It seemed that all of my doubts about things were gone, that I just loved to see him and give him a hug. He was no longer a vague voice on the telephone but a real person. Pretty awesome. =) Life has been great since :D. It has.

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